distance makes this whole NRE thing much more frustrating.
Portlaaaaand stop being so far away :(
Your basic human rights when it comes to enjoying a positive sexual experience that is CONSENSUAL, respectful, and protected, and on YOUR TERMS.
Sourcing pending. As with a lot of stuff in human services/health education fields, this information is (as it should be) open source and meant to be shared.
- The right to make your own decisions about being sexual (or not), regardless of your partner’s wishes.
This means that you can choose not to be sexual, even if your partner would like you to be sexual. This includes deciding not to be sexual with someone you have been sexual with before.
- The right to make free and responsible reproductive choices regardless of your partner’s wishes.
This means that you can choose whether to use birth control and decide how to protect yourself. Making responsible reproductive choices also involves deciding if or when you and your partner would like to have a child. This includes the right to tell a partner that you will not have sex without birth control or without protection from STIs.
- The right to stop sexual activity at any time, including during or just before intercourse.
This includes the right to make your own decisions about sexual activity, but it’s important to remember that being sexual is not an all-or-nothing deal. There are several levels of sexual activity. You can decide what you are comfortable with and engage in only those activities you want to participate in.
- The right to tell anyone that you are not comfortable being hugged or kissed in certain ways.
Even if someone is related to you or friends with you, they cannot force you to experience affection the way that they would like. You have the right to tell your relatives and other acquaintances how you are comfortable expressing affection.
- The right to ask a partner if they have been examined for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Asking a partner about STIs doesn’t mean you’re accusing them of anything. It means you’re being a responsible, sexual person.
- The right to tell a partner what you would like sexually or to tell a partner that you would like to be hugged, cuddled or touched without sex.
This means you have the right to talk to your partner about your wants and needs. It includes the right to tell a partner she or he is being too rough, and the right to be sensual without being sexual.
- The right to masturbate.
You have the right to give yourself sexual pleasure; it’s not dirty, wrong or shameful. Your partner does not have the right to tell you not to masturbate.
- The right to sexual autonomy, sexual integrity and safety of your sexual body.
This means you have the right to make decisions about your sexual life according to your own values. You have the right to be sexual without violence of any sort.
- The right to sexual privacy.
This means you have the right to make your own decisions about sex as long as your decisions don’t interfere with the sexual rights of others. This also includes the right to be examined by a doctor for sexual concerns without the doctor sharing that information with other people, except in extreme circumstances (like abuse).
- The right to sexual equity.
This means you have the right not to be discriminated against based on gender, sexual orientation, age, race, social class, religion or physical and emotional disability. However, the sexual decisions you can make may be limited by these factors if they influence your capability to consent. For instance, a small child cannot give informed consent to anything sexual because she or he does not understand what that means.
- The right to sexual pleasure.
You have the right to experience pleasure on your terms, as long as it does not infringe on the sexual rights of others.
- The right to emotional sexual expression.
This means you have the right to express your sexuality in any way you choose, including communication, touch, emotions and love-not just through sexual acts.
- The right to comprehensive sexuality education.
You have the right to be educated about sexuality. Education can help you make safer sexual decisions and know when to seek help should problems arise.
- The right to sexual information based upon scientific inquiry.
This means that ethical studies of sexuality should be conducted, and the information gained from these studies should be available.
- The right to sexual health care.
You have the right to be treated for any sexual problems you might have and to get preventive care to keep you healthy. You shouldn’t be prevented from receiving this care because of sexual orientation, disability status, race, class, age or other factors. Every state has laws about who can receive confidential reproductive services. Find out what the laws are in your state.
love leaving scars and hickeys on him. -K
♥ BB GUN : MAGIC EYE GIRLFRIEND ♥
…i didn’t cry drawing it…
I’m pretty sure the ex who broke up with me 5 years ago is still dating high school girls.
We’re both almost 25.
A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?
Autostraddle (via notaprincessdestinedtobeawitch)
Guys. You need to read this.
The problem here is that sex-positivity… well, it kind of sounds like it means “sex is awesome and you should have sex.” It’s bad enough when people assume that “sex-positive” means “sex is awesome” and then start talking about how they’re not sex-positive because they think women should have the right to refuse anal sex, pegging, or learning to squirt. But it’s really awful when people look at the word “sex-positive” and are like “of course I’m sex-positive! I love sex! Sex is awesome! All those prudes and virgins just need to loosen up and have more of the kind of sex I like!”
And here’s where I start complaining about The Ethical Slut (which is a great book, and one I highly recommend). The Ethical Slut defines a slut as ”a person of any gender who celebrates sexuality according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you”; thus, it implies, anyone can be a slut. Except… for a lot of people, sex isn’t nice. There are rape and sexual assault survivors who don’t think of sex as nice (as well are survivors who do, of course). There are people who have internalized slut-shaming to the degree that they can’t see sex as “nice” for themselves and while, yes, that’s bad, they are hardly the enemy. And, most of all, there are people who think sex is boring, or who liked it for one part of their lives and not anymore, or who would really just rather have a cup of tea and a book.
Dear God sex-positivity has such potential as a movement. I want a movement that talks about accepting what you don’t want as much as it does about accepting what you do. About “some people like sex just fine without orgasms, some people even prefer sex without orgasms, and that’s fine” as much as “learn how to have an orgasm! Now how to have a more intense orgasm!” About prude-shaming (internalized and externalized) as much as slut-shaming (internalized and externalized).
Seconded. FYI for my followers, i advocate sex positivity as a movement that contradicts a puritanical culture of shaming sexuality to the point of ignorance of basic information about sex, a movement that advocates understanding of consent, STD transmission, pregnancy, contraception, sexual identity as well as a sensitivity to the fact that everyone is a unique sexual being and that no two person’s sexual needs are the same or grounds for shame unless they impinge upon another person’s well-being.